


Byakuya Togami's Great Big Stupid Secret

by GemmaRose



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Eating Disorders, Gen, Post-Graduation, Starvation, Togami-centric, and Togami being Togami..., and a lot of messed up thinking, but ey it's post-graduation DR1, there may be a little bit of whump, when is that shit ever happy, yeah this isn't really a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-07-11
Packaged: 2018-02-08 09:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1934832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Twogami looked the way they did because, before coming to Hope's Peak, the real Togami was overweight?</p><p>Togami has struggled with his weight since childhood, and that struggle doesn't end when the School Life of Mutual Killing begins.</p><p>Written for <a href="http://superhighschoollevelsmut.dreamwidth.org/1061.html?thread=627749#cmt627749">this prompt</a> on the SHSL Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Continuity Error

Ever since Byakuya Togami can remember, he's been "the chubby one". His siblings called him baby face up to the day he left for Hope's Peak, poked and pinched and called him the biggest baby in the house. The children at his various schools through the years were not so stupid as to say it to his face, but he'd overheard enough to know that the names they called him were far less kind. He did his best not to hear them, did all he could to earn the respect they showed to his family name, but it never seemed to any avail. Oh, sure, they always chose him first for class projects and asked to sit near him at lunch, but once he was part of the group they didn't speak to him directly. He learnt well to direct people, to give orders and get them followed by the people who claimed to be his peers.

Not a single person ever saw him cry, and only the maid knew about the small hoard of junk food he kept squirreled away throughout his room. Her kindness hardly helped, though he never managed to turn down her offers for home-made treats. Even when the house was quiet and empty, as it so often was with his parents busy and his siblings off being successful and popular in their own lives, his comfort food was never far away. And then, one utterly unremarkable day in mid spring, a letter appeared in the mail box. Four and a half months later, he stood outside the gates of Hope's Peak Academy.

His first step over the property line felt like the world was falling out from under him, and his head hurt as if it were about to burst. He woke with a groan, and fumbled for his glasses. Without them the world was a blur, and it only aggravated his headache to try and focus on anything. Without seeing, he could tell that he was sitting in a cheap, wheeled reclining chair, with his feet up on a large desk and legs crossed at the ankle. Most likely the teacher's desk in a classroom.

A glint of light made him wince, and he put his feet on the floor to reach for it. Sure enough, his fingers found familiar wire frames and deceptively thin glass lenses. The legs slid behind his ears as neatly as ever, and he gave his surroundings a quick examination. Obnoxious wallpaper, ridiculous carpet, a dozen desks which looked more suited to a one room schoolhouse than a leading-edge school for the gifted, and a flyer for Hope's Peak academy on the desk where his glasses had been. He reached for the printed paper, and froze like a statue. His arm was different. The suit he wore was the same, impeccably tailored for a flawless fit, but underneath... He must have been dreaming. He glanced at the clock, confirmed the time as 7:30, and checked his watch. Still 7:30.

"Hello? If anybody from the Hope's Peak 78th Class is present, I request that you please report to the gymnasium for attendance."

His head snapped up at the voice, and he picked up the brochure to read quickly. The outside was neatly printed, but inside it seemed almost to be written in crayon. Placing it back on the desk, he reassured himself that his hair was neat and straightened his jacket. His mysterious weight loss could be dealt with later, but getting the person in the hall to pipe down was first priority. The classroom's door was ajar, and he used the toe of his shoe to flick it properly open.

"And who are you to be giving me orders?" he said, crossing his arms and fixing the stranger with his sternest glare.

"I am Super High School Level Prefect Ishimaru Kiyotaka." he said, head held high. "Who are you?"

"Super High School Level Scion, Togami Byakuya." he said, not changing his expression or offering his hand. "I assume you found a flyer saying when and where we are to gather?"

"Yes. It was on the table next to me, in the cafeteria."

Togami's stomach twisted at the thought of the cafeteria, and he viciously halted that line of thought. However it had happened, he had finally accomplished the one goal which had eluded him since childhood. He would never go back to those days, even if it meant strictly monitoring what he consumed. Letting out an impatient sigh, he brushed his bangs to the side. "I too discovered a flyer with instructions to convene in the gym. Therefore it is not unreasonable to assume that anyone else who awoke in such strange circumstances will also find such an item. Therefore, there is no reason for you to be patrolling the halls with your voice raised. So shouldn't you be waiting in the gymnasium yourself to take attendance?"

The Prefect's already pinkish face went more red, and he gave a small bow. "Ah, you have a very good point, Togami-kun. Let's go to the gym, and await our classmates there."

The blonde nodded once, and Ishimaru began leading the way.

\-----

That evening, after their report meeting, he laid atop the covers on his bed. He was thin. That single, inescapable fact should have been something to take pride in, but instead it was souring in his mouth like expired milk. He finally had what he'd longed for his whole life. A normal body weight, the genuine respect of his classmates, separation from his awful siblings and their relentless teasing. But even after a reasonably sized dinner, he was still hungry. There was no more hoard under the bed, or in the backs of the desk drawers, or tucked in the corner of the closet, which was good. If there was only one one place for him to get and eat food, he could monitor himself more easily. Maybe even drop the last little bit of pudge from his stomach...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly think that the only thing Junko wouldn't be able to account for would be a large physical change, like a growth spurt, or a tattoo, or dropping a couple hundred pounds...


	2. Idiots and Safety Nets

The weeks wore on, and Togami kept as watchful an eye on his plate as he did on his potentially murderous classmates. Then, suddenly, everything was over. The doors were opened, and they were thrust out into a world where the very air sapped your strength. Everyone carried a pack, and throughout the day everyone ate what they could find. Togami began checking the packaging, tallying up numbers, crossing his fingers behind his back when Naegi made him promise to eat more, regardless of what the labels said. They walked all day every day, scarves and kerchiefs wrapped over their mouths to filter out at least a little bit of the air's pollution, and after the first month they stopped asking whose stomach was growling. Mono-masked people and robots came at them almost regularly, but even after the most stressful battles Togami's numbers didn't change.

None of them slept particularly well in the broken and abandoned buildings they could find, not with the noises of vermin and the knowledge that looters and gangs seemed to rule every part of this crumbling world now. Togami hardly slept at all, and when he did it was shallow and not particularly restful. His temper shortened, and when Hagakure found an untouched box of Halicon under a shelf in a looted pharmacy, he all but pitched the bottles at the blonde's head. The medicine helped him sleep, though it took some minutes of debate with Naegi before he'd agree to take it with the multivitamins that night, and he began carefully tallying the number of pills he had left.

Surprisingly, nobody noticed how frequently he bruised. Or perhaps they did, but assumed it to be something which had always happened. Kirigiri gave him a pair of gloves for his birthday, and he thanked her with a smile closer to a grimace than anything else. They proved useful some days later, helping to hide the inexplicable rashes which cropped up all over his skin, staying for days on end before vanishing and reappearing somewhere else. Conversations were few and far between, everyone filthy and surly and slowly beginning to realize how aimless their wandering was. They were all leaner than they had been when they left the academy, cheekbones more pronounced and knuckles more prominent, and despite Naegi's best efforts their Hope was slowly leaching away.

They had been travelling for well over two months when Komaru found them. She brought them to a building which still had running water, and by a drawing of lots Togami was stuck showering last. It was the first time he'd seen his own body in a mirror since they left the school, and the sight made him feel ill. His skin was a mess of bruises, some new and some fading, and patches of angry red where the rash was making itself known. And every inch of it was stretched taught over his bones. Ribs moving visibly with each shallow breath, hip bones decorated with bruises inflicted by the jutting bones within, tendons clearly visible when he clenched his skeletal hands into fists. Is an outsider were to look at him next to a picture of himself on his first day at Hope's Peak, they wouldn't even suspect the two were one and the same.

Absurdly, the thought made him smile.

\-----

"Hey, Togami."

The blonde turns his head, glowering groggily at his classmate. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

The Super High School Level Scion let his head fall limp again, staring blankly up at the ceiling. They'd been stuck inside for the past four days, hiding from the freezing rain outside. "I'm fine, Naegi."

"Really?" the brunet frowns, and glances at the untouched bag of potato chips. "You haven't eaten yet today."

"Not hungry." he shrugs listlessly.

"You've eaten a single granola bar since we made camp here." Kirigiri says quietly from her seat next to Asahina. "You need to eat."

"She's right, Byakuya-sama." Fukawa says, scooting closer. She smells, but no worse than the rest of them. "You haven't been eating."

Togami idly wonders how long it's been since he ate a proper meal. He knows the answer, of course. All the children in his family are as skilled with numbers as they are with manipulation, and he was always the brightest of them all. The last time he ate a full, proper meal was long before they left Hope's Peak. The hunger creeps at the edges of his mind, tempting him, and he kills that train of thought before it can get the better of him. He will not backslide, he is better than that. He is the last Togami, and he will not let a bad childhood habit destroy his future.

"I'm fine." he snaps, sitting up and drawing the blanket tighter around himself. The world spins for a few moments, then a few moments more, and he has to close his eyes and press a hand to his forehead for a minute before the nausea goes away.

"Togamichi."

Hagakure's voice is soft, and the blonde wonders momentarily if he's ever heard his classmate sound so genuinely concerned before.

"Quit being an idiot."

He blinks, and it takes a moment to school his face from surprise back into irritation.

"Don't think I haven't seen you. You pretend to eat, then return your rations as found things. So quit being an idiot and take care of yourself. A bag of chips aint the healthiest thing, but it's damn better than starving yourself."

It's been years since Togami has felt so chastised, much less by somebody who refuses to raise their voice.

"Byakuya-sama?" Fukawa half crawls closer, shuffling along on her knees until she can reach out and touch his shoulder. She recoils quickly, before he even has to tell her to stop touching him, and he recognizes the look of horror on her face. “Byakuya-sama, why...?”

He has no good answer, so he merely turns his head and makes a dismissive noise. Fukawa’s reply is as unexpected as Naegi’s is unsurprising. She punches him in the ribs as the Super High School Level Luckster calls for everyone to gather. He slumps forward with the blow, coughing hard enough to bring up a few neon drops of blood, and when he looks up it is to see an incensed Toko Fukawa standing over him, a pair of scissors in one hand.

The room freezes, and Naegi opens his mouth to say something. They never hear what, though, because Fukawa starts yelling. She hurls curses and invectives and gestures wildly with the scissors, properly terrifying everyone in a way they haven’t felt since leaving the school. Then, as abruptly as it came, her rage evaporates and she sinks to her knees, tears making streaks through the grime on her face. “You stupid four eyed scrub.” she sniffles, wiping her nose on her shirt sleeve.

The scissors fall from her hand, clinking on the hardwood floor, and the room at large exhales in relief. Asahina stands, leaving the blanket to Kirigiri, and hurriedsacross the small room. “Are you okay?” she says quickly, hands hovering over Togami’s hunched shoulders.

“Of course he’s not.” Hagakure frowns. “He’s skin and bones.” their oldest classmate crouches next to Togami, green eyes uncharacteristically stern, and places one steady hand on top of the blond’s head. “But we’re gonna make sure you get better, Togamichi.”

“I told you, I’m fine.” he snapped again, swatting away the hand. He was a Togami, the last of his family. He survived the School Life of Mutual Killing, he would survive this. He tried to stand, and later would say that it was Naegi’s hand on his sleeve which made him sit back down, not a sudden and intense dizziness which made the floor pitch under his feet.

There was a ripping sound, and when he opened his eyes Kirigiri was holding the bag of chips under his nose. They weren’t flavoured, but at this distance he could practically taste the salt. It made his stomach twist, and he turned his head away.

“You can eat these by yourself, or I can feed them to you.” Kirigiri’s tone and expression are as unreadable as ever, and he takes the bag from her with a sigh.

“Byakuya-sama, you sh-shouldn’t eat the whole bag all at once.”

He gives Fukawa a withering glare, and she wipes at her tears again before continuing. “My second mother watched a Western show about types of death. If you give a starved person too much food at once, they can die of shock.”

“I’m not-”

“Half the bag.” Asahina says quickly, placing a hand on his elbow. “You eat half the bag now, and half later. As soon as this rain lets up, we’ll find you some granola bars or something. I’m sure you’ll start feeling better when you get some real food.” she grins, and Togami sighs as he picks a single chip from the packaging.

“Do you all have to sit so close?” he glares at each of them in turn, lingering especially on Naegi as he pops the salty, deep fried junk food into his mouth. The little voice he’s come to associate with keeping track of numbers hisses that this is just empty calories, fat waiting to happen, and he nearly bites his tongue when he forces himself to swallow. Naegi smiles, looking relieved, and Togami 

“Oh, once you’re done, we can all snuggle up together!” Asahina beams, throwing her arms around Fukawa. “It’ll be warm, and more fun than sitting around being grumpy..”

Togami does his best not to wince as he eats the first few chips, mouth readjusting to solid food. The others chatter on, debating who will sleep where in their hypothetical sleep pile, but through it all Hagakure keeps one eye on the blond. He hands the bag over with a sigh when he’s done, and the Super High School Level Diviner ruffles his hair in an almost paternal way. The blond scowls, and smooths his hair back into place. He almost wants to get up and pace, something he usually wouldn’t be caught dead doing, but before he can begin to stand a weight falls into his lap.

“Togami gets to be my pillow.” Asahina says loudly, grinning up at him as if expecting no argument.

He makes dismissive noise and shoves at her head in his lap. “I will suffer no such indignity. Use your pack, like everyone else.”

Her smile is near to blinding, but she doesn’t budge. “Nobody’s using their pack tonight, silly. We’re all sleeping on each other, didn’t you hear?”

Naegi smiles helplessly, and Hagakure returns (when had he left?) with the few blankets which were scattered around the room and not wrapped around their owners. “Sorry, it’s hard to dissuade Asahina-san when she gets an idea in her head.” Naegi tucks the half-empty bag of chips into his pack, and gives the Super High School Level Scion a grin which seems almost proud.

“Fine. I supposed I will have to endure a night huddled with you simpletons.” Togami sighs, giving the still-beaming swimmer a shove which makes her sit up and pout at him. “But I refuse to be used as a pillow.”

“Fine.” she huffs, crossing her arms and lifting her chin haughtily. “Then Fukawa-chan will use you as a pillow, and I’ll have Hagakure.”

Togami blanches, and Kirigiri hides a chuckle behind one gloved hand. It’s surprisingly… normal. Like they’re just a handful of students again, arguing about sleepover sleeping arrangements. Naegi and Kirigiri share a look and a smile before scooting around to their spaces, his hoodie folded under her head as a pillow. Once Togami has grudingly accepted his fate as Asahina’s pillow, and spread his battered jacket over Hagakure’s dreads for a pillow, the Super High School Level Hope and Detective twine hands under their blankets.

No matter what this shattered world throws at them, all six of them will protect each other with their lives. Even if some of them need to be protected from themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- This was actually pretty fun to write, though I think my Togami may not be assholish enough :/  
> 2- This is my first time really writing eating disorders, so please forgive me if it's overdone or poorly represented. Also, if you have suggestions on how to better portray things like this, please do tell.  
> 3- Halicon is a prescription sleep aid, similar to Xanax.  
> 4- Fukawa is referencing the show “1000 ways to die”, which is a SPIKE series about the most bizarre deaths that have (for the most part) actually happened.
> 
> Hope you had some fun reading this :)


End file.
